5 Ways to Increase Resilience (in Hard Times)
Yoga is more than just postures on a mat, or getting physically stronger. We begin with the body, and the practice moves deeper from there toward our mind and heart. I feel that some of yoga's most valuable teachings are about resilience and equanimity.
These 5 resilience practices come from my own experiences and knowledge gathered in inquiry of a yoga practice.
They’re for everyone, because I know we all really need them right now.
1. Breathe.
Specifically, breathe consciously, through your nose. In yoga, breath is said to be “King of the mind.” Deep, slow belly breaths through your nose activates the parasympathetic nervous system to calm you and they are the gold standard if you’re managing moments of anxiety or overwhelm, but it’s not the only way to breathe.
Yoga has many pranayama (breath control) practices ranging from slow, nose breathing to rapid breathing, for different purposes. Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) is a great way to calm your nervous system and get centered again, for example. What really matters is how you breathe and remaining conscious of your breath or taking time to pause multiple times a day to focus on your breathing. Breath work shifts your mind, it shifts your energy and increasing your intake of oxygen and expulsion of CO2 has been shown in loads of studies to improve your overall health and longevity.
Start now: sit up on the edge of your seat with feet planted on the floor and your posture tall, and take 5-10 slow, deep, belly breaths (diaphragmatic breathing). Do this while you’re driving, before you brush your teeth, when you’re washing the dishes, etc.
2. Move your body.
Weights, running, asana practice—whatever your movement method, it serves more than just the purpose of keeping your bottom firm and your belly flat. Movement should be a habit much like brushing your teeth—it’s necessary for your mental and emotional health, as well as your physical health. When our bodies break down, it’s impossible to stay resilient mentally or emotionally. Folks who skip movement adopt stress coping methods that either present as avoidant or explosive for that very reason.
Movement is an energetic release to shake out stress from our tissues. When we move, we release stress hormones, increase oxygen intake, and energetically shift how we feel. In a tech-driven world bombarding us with information 24/7 (or rather it’s often us, bombarding ourselves), we inhabit our mind more than our body more than we were ever meant to, and it’s so important to regularly escape that.
Moving your body also helps us process emotions and thoughts in a way that nothing else can—if you have a movement practice, you might get ideas or “downloads” during that time for this very reason!
Start now. Make a plan to exercise today, if you haven’t. It’s best to do it early in the day if you can, to jumpstart your energy and get it done with. If yoga is your thing, I have 100+ on-demand classes available on my platform right now ranging from 10-60 minutes, that you can take from anywhere you’re able to read this blog. Try it free for 5 days first, to make sure it’ll work for you!
3. Name your feelings.
In yoga, this the practice of self-study or svadhyaya, one of the 8 limbs of yoga. Current psych research recommends that when we’re experiencing emotional turmoil, taking a pause to simply name 3 emotions you’re feeling in that moment out loud—to yourself, or whomever you’re interacting with—allows you to move out of your primitive, emotional mind (amygdala) and into your logical mind (prefrontal cortex).
What’s happening is that once your emotional self is seen, your nervous system relaxes to let you self-regulate and the logical mind can problem solve the matter at hand. It sounds ridiculously simple, I know, but there’s a noticeable energetic shift when you do this!
Start now. You don’t have to be upset to name your feelings. Think about how you’re feeling and use descriptive words (elated, joyful, grateful, angry, worried, frustrated, etc) to name 3 emotions present in you right now. Repeat this practice in moments when you’re upset, even if you’re by yourself, say “Right now, I’m feeling (emotion), (emotion) and (emotion)” out loud. Notice the shift!
4. Remember: everything is temporary.
Maybe you know this, but we can all use this reminder. And even though it seems trite, consider this: you’ve been through some hard times in your life already, I’m sure. And? You’re still here. You got through it. You will do that over and over again throughout your life.
Those past times were temporary, and if you’re feeling challenged lately, know that this is temporary too. Of course, this extends to the “good times” which means we must to be fully present to soak them up, knowing everything changes. Even if Right Now feels like it’s lasting an eon, there’ll be a day you look back and think “wow, I thought that would last forever and now it’s over!” Not only that, but it made you stronger.
Start now. Think of a time in your life—be it a week, months or years—when life seemed unbearable and you never thought you’d get through it. Realize that you’re now past it! Notice how that realization feels, give yourself credit for getting through it and think of how much stronger you are because of it. Then, know that such times will happen again (if they aren’t now), just as you know those future times will pass, because you always do get through it.
PS: This isn’t about spiritual bypassing (ignoring the bad to focus on the good because we can’t deal). Allow for hardship AND goodness, and surrender to the flow, trusting it’s all working in your favor somehow. Sitting with discomfort is an important part of being in the flow of what’s temporary. This practice builds resilience. When we resist, we suffer. And as a wise sage once said: pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
5. Practice gratitude + choose your perspective.
You’ve probably heard about how a gratitude practice is great for your mental health and happiness, and it is! However, this is a tricky one, because it’s a slippery slope to spiritual bypassing more than #4. Again, it’s not about ignoring what isn’t working, or the darkness in the world.
Gratitude lifts us up and helps us recall the positivity we might be forgetting amidst the negative. That’s important, because it creates a lens through which we see the world. Gratitude shifts us toward lightness, where it’s possible to then choose hope and meaning. This is how we keep going.
The world is shifting from duality toward unity. We’re realizing it’s possible to be grateful and be having a really hard time right now. During this pandemic, I’ve been so grateful for the abundance in my life with my relationships and also, it’s been really freaking hard. These realities exist simultaneously!
Start now. What are you grateful for, and how can you choose to see or show up in the world that’ll make a meaningful impact on your ability to get through it? You might be in circumstances or see events that make you feel hopeless, but wallowing in that hopelessness is a choice. In every moment, we have a choice in how we respond. Our choices can be colored by an intention to focus on goodness, or despair. In this way, we create our reality.
Choose your reality wisely, because no one knows what will happen. The future is, by definition, uncertain.
But guess what? You’ve made it this far. Give yourself more credit. And when you’re crumbling to your knees, let these resilience practices pick you back up because when you look back, that’s what’s always been done: you fall down, you get back up.